一笑軒

The Correspondence of Mycroft Holmes

麥考羅夫特•福爾摩斯的對應事項

by celestialteapot

Summary：

故事梗概：

Mycroft corresponds.

麥考羅夫特的對應之道

A Favour is Required

有個愛好是必須的

I need a favour – MH

我需要個愛好。—MH

What do you need? – GL

你需要什麼樣的愛好？—GL

You are free to say no. – MH

你可以拒絕。—MH

I don’t know what it is yet. – GL

我還不知道是什麼。—GL

I will truly understand if you do not wish to take part. – MH

如果你不想參與，我會理解的。—MH

Mycroft, I can’t read your mind. What do you want? – GL

麥考羅夫特，我無法讀你的腦袋。你想要什麼樣的愛好？—GL

Will you join me and my parents for dinner? – MH

你可以和我以及我的父母一起晚餐嗎？—MH

And? – GL

然後？—GL

I need you to be my pretend boyfriend. – MH

我需要你假扮成我的男友。—MH

It will only be for an evening, you are under no obligation to act romantically towards me. – MH

那將不會是整個晚上，你沒有義務對我表現浪漫。—MH

Sherlock told them I’m seeing someone and they’re insisting on meeting him, please Greg? – MH

夏洛克告訴他們我正在約會某個人，而他們堅持要見那個人，拜託、葛雷格？—MH

I tried telling them he was busy but Sherlock...well, Sherlock was Sherlock. – MH

我試著告訴他們他很忙、但夏洛克……好吧，夏洛克就是夏洛克。—MH

Greg? – MH

葛雷格？—MH

Sorry, had to deal with something. Sure I’ll be your fake boyfriend for the night AND I’ll be romantic. Time, location & dress code? – GL

抱歉，必須要去處理些事。當然、那晚我會當你的假男友，以及、我會很浪漫的。時間、日期＆服裝要求？—GL

A selection of smart casual attire is on it’s way to you, you’ll be picked up on en-route around 6:15PM. – Anthea

你平常的隨性服裝就是最好的選擇，我們會在約PM 6:15 時順路過去接您。—Anthea

Is Mycroft ok? – GL

麥考羅夫特還好嗎？—GL

You know that noise you get when you let air out of a balloon? – Anthea

你聽過當你把氣球放氣飛向空中的那種噪音嗎？—Anthea

Oh. That bad? – GL

噢。有這麼糟？—GL

He’ll be fine. Don’t bring flowers or chocolates. He rambles when nervous and if only our interrogators were as good as Mrs Holmes. Good luck. – Anthea

他會好的。不需要帶花或巧克力來。他緊張時就會走來走去，還有、福爾摩斯夫人的審訊技巧就和我們一樣的好。祝好運。—Anthea

Requesting Assistance

請求援助

Help – MH

救命—MH

Sorry sir, I promised your mother. – Anthea

抱歉長官，我答應過令堂了—Anthea

I am your boss! – MH

我是妳的老闆！—MH

Your mother is more terrifying. – Anthea

令堂更可怕。—Anthea

Call in a bomb threat, invent an emergency. Please, please get me out this nightmare! – MH

找個炸彈威脅來，捏造個緊急事件。拜託，請把我從這個噩夢裡拉出來！—MH

That would be an abuse of power. You’ll like Act II. – Anthea

那是濫用權力。你會喜歡第二幕的。—Anthea

You're fired. – MH

妳被開除了。—MH

That's a shame, I've just finished making a lemon drizzle cake. – Anthea

那可真遺憾，我剛做好一個檸檬水晶蛋糕。—Anthea

Codenames are Meant to be Broken

代號意味著破功

I’m not sure I approve of my new codename. – MH

我不確定我有批准我的新代號。—MH

I think ‘Gru’ suits you sir. – Anthea

我覺得〝格魯〞很適合長官您。—Anthea

※註：Gru，神偷奶爸(台譯)的主角

Does that make you my minion? – MH

這是否表示妳是我的小小兵？—MH

※註：原文是minion

I’d go with trusty sidekick. – Anthea

我會帶最值得信賴的搭檔去。—Anthea

Only If I get to wear a cape. – MH

只有在我需要穿上斗篷時。—MH

※暗指需要掩人耳目時

Deal. – Anthea

成交。—Anthea

Warmer Climates

溫暖氣候

I can’t feel my feet :( - MH.

我感覺不到我的腳 L —MH

Not long now sir, we’re closing in on your location. Are you really that cold? – Anthea

時間沒有經過那麼久長官，我們接近您的位置了。您真的有那麼冷？—Anthea

There’s been a definite migration north. – MH

已確定候鳥北遷。—MH

※這有黃色笑話的意思

Not an image I needed, sir. Perhaps this photo will get your blood flowing again ;) {glestrade.jpg}- Anthea

我不需要這畫面，長官。也許這些照片可以讓您的血液再度流動 J   —Anthea

Unfair. – MH

這不正當。—MH

{glestrade1.jpg} – Anthea

  —Anthea

Most unfair. – MH

更不正當了。—MH

{glestrade2.jpg} – Anthea

  —Anthea

Please stop. – MH

請停止。—MH

Feeling warmer? – Anthea

感覺溫暖點了？—Anthea

I’m certainly very grateful for my great coat. – MH

如果給我我偉大的外套我真的會非常感激。—MH

Quid Pro Quo

交換條件

Words cannot describe how desperate I am for the toilet. – MH

文字無法形容我對廁所的絕望。—MH

There’s not much I can do about that sir, I’m on holiday :) – Anthea

對此我無能為力長官，我放假 J —Anthea

I know. – MH

我知道。—MH

I thought my assistant was aiding you this week? – Anthea

我想我的助理在這周對您有幫助？—Anthea

A chocolate teapot would be more useful… - MH

一個巧克力茶壺會更有幫助…—MH

※暗指該助理中看不中用

Oh dear. I’ll speak to him when I get back. – Anthea

噢親愛的。當我回去時我會對他說的。—Anthea

I will personally pay for another week of holiday if you do something that’ll get me out of this meeting before my bladder explodes. – MH

如果妳在我膀胱爆炸之前讓我從這會議中脫身的話，我會親自再准妳一周假。—MH

Can I chose the location? – Anthea

我可以選擇地點？—Anthea

Yes. – MH

可以。—MH

A week in the Algarve, no emails/texts/contact whatsoever and it’s a deal. – Anthea

阿爾加夫一周，沒有電子郵件／簡訊／任何形式的聯繫而且，這是個交易。—Anthea

Deal. – MH

成交。—MH

What do you do with a drunk Holmes?

你會怎麼對一個喝醉的福爾摩斯？

How’s the head? :P – GL

頭怎麼樣？:P —GL

I’m dying. – MH

我要死了。—MH

Is over-dramaticness a Holmesian trait? – GL

這是個福爾摩斯式的超戲劇演出？—GL

This is no laughing matter, Detective. There is a herd of elephants inside my skull rehearsing for Swan Lake while simultaneously drilling for oil and recreating the last night of the proms. – MH

這沒有任何玩笑的成分，探長。我的頭顱內有群大象正在排練天鵝湖，同時還有人在開採石油並且要重現昨晚的舞會。—MH

Blimey! – GL

哎呀我的天！—GL

How are you unaffected? – MH

你為何不受影響？—MH

I’ve had a lot of practice ;) nah, I’m suffering as well...I just have the luxury of being able to stay in bed with the curtains closed. – GL

我練習得夠多 J 才不，我和你差不多痛苦…我現在正奢侈的拉起窗簾待在家裡。—GL

I was late for work this morning. Anthea had to wake me up. – MH

我今早的工作遲到了。只好讓安西亞叫醒我。—MH

Oh the shame! – GL

噢真丟臉！—GL

Particularly when at some point I seem to have decided that clothing was optional. – MH

具體地來說，我似乎是在某個覺得服裝是可以自己決定的時候就開始醉了。—MH

That was probably around the time we opened the Tequila. – GL

那大概是我們開了龍舌蘭左右的時間吧。—GL

WHY???! – MH

什麼？？？！—MH

No idea, you just appeared with this bottle and declared it wasn’t a real party unless there were shots. I was very shocked – GL

沒概念，你就是帶著那個瓶子出現，然後宣稱除非有攝影機否則這不算是個真正的舞會。我真的感到非常震驚。—GL

I don’t recall that – MH

我想不起這段。—MH

It was after you told me I was wearing too many clothes and you were declaring underpants illegal- GL

就在你對我說我穿得太多那時候，而且你還宣稱內褲是違法的。—GL

!!!! – MH

！！！！—MH

Yeah, Holmes + alcohol seems to = nakedness. – GL

沒錯，福爾摩斯+酒精看起來就是=裸體狂。—GL

Oh god... – MH

噢、天…—MH

You're also a very hands-on drunk. – GL

你也真的很容易醉。—GL

This is mortifying. I am truly sorry. – MH

這是屈辱。我真的很抱歉。—MH

Nothing to apologise for. I'm still waiting for that kiss you promised me though. – GL

無須道歉。雖然我仍在等你承諾的那個吻。—GL

Where would my reputation be if I didn't keep my promises. – MH

如果我沒有實現我的承諾的話，我的聲譽何在。—MH

I may not have mentioned it but I’m all alone in this big bed and as per the law, not wearing any pants ;) – GL

我實在是不想提這件事，不過我一個人在這張大床上並且遵從著法律，不得穿任何褲子的那條 J —GL

I can be there in 20mins – MH

我可以在20分鐘內到達。—MH

I'll be waiting – GL

我會等著。—GL

Anthea, I'm really not feeling well. Can you make my apologies and rearrange any of the nonessential appointments? You can take the rest of the day off. – MH

安西亞，我真的感覺不是很舒服。妳可以幫我致歉並重新安排所有部必要的約會嗎？同時妳今天也可以休息一天。—MH

Done. Get well soon, try not to do anything too strenuous ;) - Anthea

收到。祝您早日康復，盡量不要做任何太費力氣的事—Anthea

Assistance Required

必要援助

Could you find the caretaker? – MH

你能找到負責人嗎？—MH

He says there's some under the sink –Anthea

他說水槽裡有東西。—Anthea

Good to know, but not very helpful in this instance. – MH

很高興知道這點，但在這例子上不太有幫助。—MH

We've discussed this sir, I can't read your mind and while I'm very good at interpreting your texts, I'm not /that/ good. – Anthea

我們已經討論過這點了、長官，雖然我很能解讀你的簡訊，但我無法讀你的腦袋，我沒有、那麼、好。—Anthea

The lock is jammed... – MH

鎖卡住了…—MH

You're stuck in the loo again? – Anthea

您又被困在廁所裡了？—Anthea

...yes. – MH

…對。—MH

He's on his way. – Anthea

他在路上了。—Anthea

Mycroft, Anthea & TMI

麥考羅夫特，安西亞＆ＴＭＩ

※TMI = too much informatiom，過多資訊

Happy Birthday, my dear. I’ve covered the morning, enjoy a well deserved lie in. – MH

生日快樂，我親愛的。我囊括了妳今早的所有事務，好好享受這一個完美的謊言世界吧。—MH

Not that I don’t appreciate it sir but my birthday was last week. – Anthea

並不是我不感激長官您，但我的生日是上周。—Anthea

Oh. Did I give you the morning off? – MH

噢。那我有給你同樣的早晨優待嗎？—MH

No. I spent it trying to extract you from DI Lestrade’s handcuffs… - Anthea

沒有。我花了一整個早上的時間將您從雷斯垂德探長的手銬中解出…—Anthea

Ah, yes. I’m still very sorry about that. – MH

啊，對的，我仍舊對此感到抱歉。—MH

I’ve accepted I’m fated to know far too much about your personal life. – Anthea

我已經接受了我註定要知道太多您的私人生活這件事。—Anthea

On the subject of personal matters, my cat is pregnant. – MH

說到私人生活這項事務，我的貓懷孕了。—MH

Congratulations? – Anthea

恭喜？—Anthea

Undecided. While she will no doubt have adorable off-spring, I am not prepared for the resulting destruction to my home. – MH

尚未確定。雖然毫無疑問地她的孩子也會很可愛，不過我還沒準備好我的房子會被摧毀的這件事。—MH

I’m sure I can find suitable homes for them. – Anthea

我相信我能幫牠們找到合適的家。—Anthea

BTW, can I still have the morning off? – Anthea

順帶一提，我還有早晨優待嗎？—Anthea

※原文使用縮寫BTW

Go on then. I’ll see you at 1pm. – MH

去享受它吧。下午一點見。—MH

Thank you sir :) – Anthea

感謝長官 J —Anthea

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